" /> Ms. Conception: January 2006 Archives

« December 2005 | Main | February 2006 »

January 31, 2006

2.5 Sexual Tension

Smile.JPG In the end, I stretched my pad and sleeping bag on the ornate rug on the floor beside Steve’s bed. I don’t know who exactly I was trying to kid. I was soft from the soak, warm from the wine, full from the food, exhausted from the kayaking at sea, yet stimulated by the bubbles and by this new turn of events. On the floor beside his bed, I soon felt wide awake. I lay there for an hour. I tossed and turned. Then I moved onto the bed in my sleeping bag. Steve never stirred, while I still couldn’t sleep. I turned and turned, climbed off of the bed, climbed down to the floor, and back again, and back and forth, pretty much until daybreak.

I could hear the birds begin the chorus at dawn. I put my pillow over my head on the floor.

“You conservative Christians sure sleep soundly,” I said.

“I know.”

He was looking down at me, looking into my eyes.

“What?”

“I know that I’d like to kiss you. Right now. Before breakfast, before you catch the ferry.”

He leaned over and kissed me.

“What’s this?” I said.

“I’ve decided to come with you,” he said, up on his elbow.

“What?”

“I can extend my trip.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Mother-in-law is visiting. My wife will be fine.

“I think you need to have a chat with God.”

“Perfect. Come with me to the Church in the Woods. I planned to visit it today anyway. There is time before you have to catch the ferry.”

The Church in the Woods is a wooden sanctuary with massive windows trained on the outdoors. No stained glass, just nature, lush green rainforest framed as the work of God. I left Steve alone inside, leaving him to commune while I explored the living world and the architecture. He needed to pray and time was running out.

Despite his prayers, he chose to take the ferry. He sat beside me all the way up the inland passage to Haines, past soaring cliffs with eagles nests and the occasional bald eagle, and schools of otter swimming on their back, grooming themselves and nursing their young. It seemed that without meaning to, we both had found something other than what we had planned on in Alaska.

“Tell me about your son,” I asked, watching the otters with their young on their stomachs. I wondered if maybe all the men in Alaska were fugitives from their new babies.

“It’s hard. He’s so young. I can’t wait for him to be a little older. When I can speak with him. Shape him.”

Steve kissed me full on the mouth.

“What if he grows up to be gay?” I asked.

“I’d disown him,” Steve said.

“Are you serious?“

“I am.”

“Do you really think homosexuality is a matter of choice?”

“I do.”

“You’re born to it.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“ How can you be so absolute? You’d turn your back on your own child?”

“Being a parent is the most important thing one can do in life. But if a son of mine was gay, I’d reject him.”

By the time we reached Haines, we had agreed on almost nothing. But all that stuck in my mind was Steve’s assertion that being a parent was the most important thing. It played in my mind as we poked around Haines, a one time nineteenth century Army base with stately white clapboard Victorian houses arranged around a central square. The hamlet was small, but situated near nesting bald eagles and nearby Native American long houses, sweat lodges and totem poles. We saw eagles through high powered binoculars, and spent our time walking, and climbing and clamoring over massive fallen logs on the way to lodges.

We took a trail up towards the top of a windy moutain, a thin sliver overgrown by a lush leafy forest of dense ferns and towering trees. I tied my bear bell onto my pack, but that was pointless. We both knew we had to spot any feeding bears in advance. The stream alongside was green and gushed water that swallowed all other sounds. Steve was relaxed, having already seen Grizzly. He admired the grandeur of the forest as I nervously looked for scat — bluish, purplish berried—in the hopes that if a bear left recent evidence of being there, I’d be forewarned. I sang out loud at the top of my voice, deep and off-key, but in this context it seemed a very poor substitute for the reassurance of Steve’s presence.

In the river, I saw salmon swimming relentlessly upstream to spawn. I saw them again and again, their striving silvery shimmering backs. Reproduction drove them forward at all costs. And I saw the carcasses of all the salmon that died in the attempt. They floated at the edge of the stream, upside down, pounded and torn by the rocks, ripped at by passing birds, their mouths open and their eyes milked over and glazed.

“Do you really believe having a child is the most important thing?” I asked. Even if he was a father in temporary exile, I figured he should know.

“Without question,” he said despite the contradictions. I, on the other hand, was blindly feeling my way along, trying to figure life out from scratch. Even motherhood.

Up against the raw reality of the bears and the spawning salmon, I was feeling oddly imbued by the natural imperative. I was starting to see reproductive messages everywhere. Only I was up in Alaska with a conservative Christian and a married man.

In some ways, he was made for the part. His New York accent reminded me of home. Seasoned by weeks in the wild, he was even more infused with the rawness of nature than me. He was smart and thoughtful, despite a point of view that was rock hard and absolute. And in the middle of a place where the natural imperative was highly condensed, there was also, of course, some obvious sexual tension.

January 19, 2006

2.4 The Alaska Hotel

Smile.JPG The bar of the Alaska Hotel was straight out of the nineteenth century. It combined genteel bordello furnishings with frontier raucousness, flocked Victorian wallpaper, ornate flowered carpeting and gold filigreed mirrors in the hall. The bar was large and dim. But the people inside all glowed from a mixture of alcohol and exertion

“I’ve booked a sauna and hot tub,” Steve told me over the music.

“What?”

“A sauna and a hot tub. In half an hour. For us. It’s the tradition after a long kayak trip.”

I didn’t say no.

He led me along the floral covered carpet up to the second floor where we encountered a surprising number of half naked people walking through the halls in towels. They were travelling between the saunas and hot tubs and their hotel rooms as we entered a private room where the hot tub was bubbling.

“I’ve got something to tell you,” I said.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve had a mastectomy.”

“Really?”

“So I ’m going to slip in under all these bubbles first. Don’t turn around.”

His face betrayed nothing as he turned away.

Like a flora-dora girl, I sat there camouflaged in the bubbles, waiting as he turned back. He appeared unaffected, cool, poker faced. I felt reassured that this hot tub was, as it appeared, to be completely friendly and innocent. Still, I’d always heard that investment bankers were consumate negotiators accustomed to brokering deals.

“I’m married. And I have a young son,” he said, to reassure me.

He’s a conservative Christian, I thought to myself. Between my mastectomy and his marriage and mindset, this ought to be fine. The hot water felt fabulous, already making me ever so slightly relaxed and drowsy.

“You have no problem reconciling this hot tub with your religious beliefs?” I asked.

Without actually answering my question, Steve simply took off his towel. He slipped nakedly into the water opposite me. There was something about his unapologetic disrobing that made me wonder if he was at least considering boiling in hell.

“What do you think of Alaska so far?” he asked.

“I feel like I’ve landed in the world primeval. Or at least the new world, circa 1600. It’s profound. The order of things is so unmistakable here.”

“What is this? A spiritual awakening?” he teased.

“I see it more as waking up to life as it is – life as necessities, like survival and reproduction. I keep thinking nature is trying to tell me something.” I put my head back and closed my eyes.

“Let’s have dinner,” Steve said.

“My hostel closes soon. I’ll be locked out,” I answered.

“Have dinner. You can stay with me.”

“In your hotel room?” I asked, opening my eyes to look at him.

“There’s space. You’ll be safe.”

I closed my eyes again. Now what? The hot water felt so good. I knew that by the time I reopened my eyes and actually stirred, that the hostel would be closed. I relaxed and relaxed until I had relaxed myself into a corner in the round tub. I soaked my chill and tired bones until it was too late to run up the hill in my steel-toed hiking boots to claim my place.

January 18, 2006

2.3 Whale of a Time

Just then, a wall of whale broke out of the water fifteen feet in front of us. Nose first, it rose up to the height of a two-story house, blew through its blow hole, and then dived back down, seeming to wave its tail in a slow goodbye.

“My god.” I was trembling.

“Unbelievable,” said Steve.

It was precisely what we were here for. I had seen whale before, from whale watching boats in the seas off San Francisco – shiny black fins and plumes of spray admired in between bouts of throwing up. But this was different. It happened so unexpectedly and so up close. It is one thing to be a passenger on a diesel guzzling party boat, miles from the surface of the water. But Steve and I were essentially floating on a log. From that vantage point a whale the size of a tractor trailer was a stunning shock. We saw the barnacles on his back as he rose and sank down, obliterating the mountains and sky.

“Can you believe it?”

“Will he turn us over? “

Steve laughed, reassuring me by touching my shoulder.

We continued to paddle through the salty grey wet for hours, moving one behind the other with our positions locked. All the while, we talked without eye contact, studying the surface of the sea and how the paddles entered the water or watching the brown pelicans, seagulls and the light and dark battleship sized clouds that moved swiftly through the sky. We discussed, even argued from my position to his position and back again.

“Paddle left a bit here,” he said.

“You honestly think it’s better to bring an unwanted child into this world?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Ah, look. Are those geese, that formation there?”

“Could be.”

“ But I’m sure you wouldn’t want government to support it?”

“Life begins at conception,” he said.

We paddled our way through every possible source of conflict, from abortion to homosexuality to welfare reform. I still hadn’t noticed that the waves had found their way up to my sleeves and into my parka, until one wind whipped wave hit me square in the face. I was soaked and shivering.

“I’m all wet,” I shrieked.

“I agree with that,”Steve said.

We headed to land, to dry off and eat. I stripped my wet parka, my jacket and my rubber overalls away, down to my t-shirt and jeans. I walked a short distance and lowered my pants to pee. I was out in the open, inside the tide line, so that my scent would be washed away and not attract bear. There was no possibility of demure crouching behind a fern in the woods out here. It was open and sandy, sand fleas jumping as I crouched, big fat horseflies circling and buzzing, and giant red ants carrying pieces of a dead insect in elaborate detours around the tip of my boot. I couldn’t help but notice that even at six inches off the ground, this barren stretch of beach was teeming with life.

By the time I walked back, the other boat had pulled in, the nervous guy carefully propping up his camera on a log. Steve was chatting with the guide.

“That’s right. It’s a tradition,” I heard the guide say. “After a long kayak trip, you have to finish it off with a drink at the bar, a hot tub and a sauna, all at the Alaska Hotel. Believe me, you’ll need it.”